spareunderthemat:

I don’t bake for boys that aren’t boyfriends. I’m not that desperate. It’s like no sex without monogamy… No brownies or pumpkin bread until exclusivity. Boom. Consider it done.

This is now a personal rule. Genius.

In other news, Gatorade is a magic medicine.

Throwing up from illness instead of alcohol is actually a novelty.

I’m so miserable I feel like a 14 year old girl; Happyness is happiness and I don’t have it.  Nor am I quite so sure how to change things.

ps.  going back to job searching helps.

Sick, tired, stuffy, bummed out, left out.  What a gross Saturday morning.

So anxious about irrelevant, unimportant things.  All the news about Beyonce & Jay-Z has got me you-tubing their past 27 albums…a fine distraction.

(p.s. I want to be Beyonce when I grow up)

(p.p.s sentence 1 and sentence 2 are unrelated to each other.  I am not anxious about Beyonce.)

This article is in an incomplete first draft state, and was written without a predefined structure.  It’s meant to ask questions, not answer them:

I am surrounded by immensely talented individuals….people that can write, create art, design music.  I envy the way in which they are able the bare their feelings & thoughts; they leave themselves completely open to those who can interpret the subtext of their creations.  They give themselves to art and the art gives back to them.  While not all art is a critical success, it always has the opportunity to be an emotional triumph.

I know my strengths are hard work & loyalty…I believe that I can base any success I’ve had off those two qualities, along with a moderate level of intelligence, genuineness, & realism.  But are these things talents?  Can the ability of a person to solve problems be considered a personality trait or a gift?  Is true talent decided by society or by ourselves?  

Have you ever wondered if you have a hidden gift? Imagine you were born with an enlarged inferior parietal lobule, the part of the brain in charge of math. At the age of 6, you would be able to whizz through long division with ease. Multiplication is laughably simple and you have your eye on algebra for a boring day’s challenge.

Unfortunately, you were born in Buffalo County, South Dakota, the poorest county in all of America.  The average per capita income is $5,213 and you’re more likely to see a food stamp than a dollar bill in your Mother’s purse.  By circumstance, you never discover your secret, incredible gift.  You don’t show up to class because rent is due; you’re the oldest and you have to work.  Teachers believe you incompetent of basic addition since you never hand in homework.  You’re left back and you drop out because there are more important things in your young life than x-es, and y-s, and slopes.

The same analogy can be used for drawing, or clarinets, or soccer, or rapping. What if we’re all imbued with gifts that life has hidden from us by necessity or circumstance or chance? How do we discover them?  Are we even meant to? Are gifts a destiny waiting to be fulfilled or a job that needs to be practiced and perfected before you can even recognize what it is?  With hard work and determination, are you able to choose your talents?

If the answer was yes, would we have a world filled with musicians, artists & scientists?  Or is the answer yes and it’s a great secret that one needs to discover for them self, through trial & consequence, through action, through experience?  Is this a problem that’s already been solved, only no one has asked the question?